Second screen proof your manuscript

A lesson from Hollywood for writers

I have a very fringe-y relationship with Hollywood. Fox optioned Siri, Who Am I? back in 2021 for television. They hired Kelly Oxford to screenwrite. If you don’t know her, she writes Permanent Retrograde here on Substack. It’s good. At the time, I only knew her as an actress from Sharknado 2. One day Kelly called, no warning. I was sitting on my found-on-the-curb couch in the room with the dog diahrrea stained rug. I was not ready for my Hollywood close-up. Of course, it wasn’t a close-up, but I was like “ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, what do I do?” Normal words would have been the correct answer.

If I remember right, Kelly was struggling to change Max’s arc for the series, which makes sense. I ended up writing it as a series for an Amazon podcast (also fell through) and I almost took him back to the drawing board. But anyway, she wanted to respect my vision for the story while reshaping it for TV. I think she was hoping I had ideas. Instead, I was like, “My vision, who cares! Do whatever you want. Change my characters’ names. Change my name.” Besides whatever that was, it was 2020 and she caught me at a weird time. I hadn’t signed my second book deal yet and was panicking, I had two kindergartners on zoom school (that’s another conversation), and a middle schooler crumpling in on herself in the background. My middle child, Daphne, was doing great. She was making French dinners, decorating cakes, and finishing all her schoolwork before I’d had coffee. She was so disappointed when quarantine ended.

Daphne watched a YouTube video to learn how to cut hair. She can do anything.

So anyway, I never talked to Kelly again after behaving like an actual sub over the phone and offering no creative guidance. That’s really too bad. Brainstorming is normally my favorite thing. The project fell apart.

Then, Wayfarer Studios and Meralta optioned Errands & Espionage. That has been a delightful experience. Everyone I’ve worked with at Wayfarer and Meralta has been genuinely kind. Ten out of ten, would recommend all of them. Andrew, a producer from Wayfarer, occasionally comes to Minnesota and takes me out to brunch to talk about the project. I don’t think this is how Hollywood typically treats authors and I’ve really enjoyed feeling included and respected.

Last time I had lunch with Andrew, we talked about second screen proofing programming. Wayfarer doesn’t do this, but it’s a thing. As one does, I googled around a little. Netflix is at the center of the second screen proofing of content, aka, someone who is staring at their phone needs to be able to follow along. The NYT did an article on this just last week. Screenwriters apparently get notes from executives requiring characters to announce what they’re doing, dumbing down the programming for distracted viewers. Netflix is also creating video game tie-ins to shows. Black Mirror’s latest season coincides with some kind of download that allows viewers to turn their phone into the main character’s phone. That sounds awful to me, but whatever.

My daughter buried in her phone. She doesn’t have social media so her attention span is probably better than most, but still, she will read the NYT through anything.

The book world is also struggling with the problem of screens. A reader can put a book down at any second in favor of TikTok. Not to mention, the reader’s brain has likely been rewired to want a dopamine hit every thirty seconds. This means you have to keep the thrills coming at a faster pace than Jane Austen did.

I think there’s a temptation to dumb things down a bit for distracted readers, but I think it’s important not to compromise quality.

PHONES!

I haven’t seen any lists about writing rules in 2026, but here are guidelines that I use:

• The initial idea matters more than ever. There is a lot of noise out there. Your first battle is getting an agent/editor/reader to pick up your manuscript in the first place. Make it high concept! (Sharknado is a great example of high concept btw.)

• The inciting incident needs to come faster. You can’t spend chapters introducing the main character in their ordinary world. You also can’t skip it because no one wants to read a book about a character they don’t care about.

• Chapters don’t necessarily need to be shorter, but I think it helps to have scenes with minor cliffhangers that make the reader want to flip the page.

• Every chapter needs to lead to the next in a cycle of action and consequence cycle. In other words, your book can’t be episodic. This was true in the before times, but you really can’t fuck around now.

• Stakes are more important than ever. Make your character’s goals matter. If they don’t matter, then you risk losing your reader.

• Tangents—use them sparingly. If you don't have any, I’ll be bored, but if you get too in the weeds, you’ll lose people. I’m not saying no tangents, just tie them back into the book. Use them to reveal plot or character.

I don’t mind working with constraints like this. You can effectively introduce a character without too many words. You can write an entertaining and satisfying book and be efficient about things. The challenge is keeping your book rich and layered while being economical with words. I think there’s an uptick in books that are not rich and layered in recent years because we’re writing for shorter attention spans. Personally, I hate reading books that feel flat. If I feel like an author is telling me the story too loud and slow like I’m not capable of following a plot, I put the book down.

If you are trying to be efficient, don’t skip:

• Nuanced characters who are full of contradictions. Give them a clear goal, but make them interesting people.

• Interesting B plots.

• Include subtext or I’ll die.

• Internal and external conflict for the characters.

• Good writing. The definition of good writing changes over time, but don’t turn your book into Dick and Jane reading primers trying to hang onto an audience. That won’t work.

I’m also interested in different ways to deliver stories. Issa Rae has gone straight to TikTok. She’s doing something called vertical storytelling on TikTok. I’ve been a fan of hers since Insecure. If you haven’t watched her Masterclass on screenwriting, I highly recommend it. I can’t remember what she said and I didn’t take notes, but I remember liking it. One of my other faves was Walter Mosely.

Audio is also more digestible for busy audiences. I’ve noticed that the audio versions of my books have a much longer shelf life than e-book or paper versions. This might be due to Mia Hutchinson Shaw’s talent as a narrator. I love you Mia! But in this evolving world, I think we need to consider ourselves storytellers rather than novelists and be open to opportunities to deliver story in ways that appeal to today’s audience. Don’t ask me what those ways are. I’m trying to figure it out still.

What do you all think? Have you thought about making your books more efficient for attention spans that have been molded by TikTok. Are you aware of any exciting new ways to deliver story?

Summer Happenings:

I’ll be at the State Fair Grandstand next weekend selling books. I had to order a lot. Please come take them off my hands! Everyone is complaining about the boxes in the living room. I also ordered some t-shirts etc for Smut U.

Here’s my high school BFF, Wendy and her daughters in LA with my books!

Wendy and I are sister close, even though we haven seen each other much lately (geography). Our families used to do holidays together. Yesterday, when she sent this, I was thinking about that one Christmas when my we all sat down to open gifts and my mom gave my brother a wrapped book. It was a copy of Images Not to Masturbate To. My mom had been waiting for the perfect moment to share this one for a while. Boy did she nail it. Wendy’s father looked at her and asked, “Do you believe in hell?” Then everyone left the room and they talked for two hours about their spiritual beliefs. My mom had a great time. I think Allen did to. As Wendy pointed out, it was unclear which conversation topic was more uncomfortable, religion or masturbation.

A very normal book to give your son. lol

What I’m reading:

I’m just about to start Married with Benefits by Ellie Palmer! If you’re interested, I will be her convo partner at Content Books in Northfield Minnesota on July 30th. Luckily, I don’t think Ellie subscribes to my newsletter. She’ll never know I just put her book next to Images Not to Masturbate To.

What I’m watching:

This was very good! If you’re into cults or true crime, it’s a must watch.

Come see me at the fair!

Sam